Affirmation

life can deal us some nasty times, harsh,
unforgiving
painful,cruel situations and events. we have the
choice, although
we rarely see this, but we do have the choice to
lay down
and die inside or stand strong and tall and yell
out...
I AM NOT A VICTIM~

oh, we can be and often are victimized...but to
stay in that victim
mode, makes our perpetrator the winner. to stay
the victim
keeps us from growing, healing, learning. it says
that he/she is
stronger than we are. that he/she deserves more
than we do.
that he/she is worth more than we are.
that simply is NOT true.
it is not true.
what happened to us, was outside our control.
we hold NO guilt or shame or blame.
it was done TO us
NOT
BY us.
sometimes, most of the time...
what we do to ourselves after the fact is oftimes
worse than
what was done to us. we suddenly believe lies
about ourselves.
who we are...what we are
we doubt our own worth,
our own lovability.
we even doubt our own sanity at times.
I am a survivor~!!~
of incest by a family member
of domestic violence
of ovarian cancer
of rape by someone I knew.
I am a survivor~!!~
my life will never be what it was.
my hopes, my dreams,
my very being...
all of me has changed.
yet....
yet....
if I choose to stay the victim, I lose.
I lose all that I am now. all that I will ever be.
all that I am meant to be.
it's hard to stay here, to live with all the
memories...
the pain, the ugliness, the destruction and loss,
I know how hard that is.
to find a reason to get out of bed every morning,
to find a reason to hope and dream
again...
but...
if we don't stand and yell out..
I AM NOT A VICTIM~!!~
I AM A SURVIVOR~!!~
then they win...
and we lose our lives.
haven't we lost enough?
take back your power,
take back the love you held close to your heart...
the love you held for yourself.
believe in yourself...
and in your strengths.
believe in trust again...
trust for yourself.
believe that you are lovable
precious
unique.
we are not alone...
and at the end of the darkness...
the light does shine...
again~
 

by J.A. Stroud © 1997 by author

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