Top Ten Signs Your Cat is Overweight
(or according to Garfield, Undertall)

Copyright 1996, 1999 by Chris White

1. Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener.
2. Confused guests constantly mistaking her for beanbag chair.
3. Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens.
4. Catfood dish replaced with Rush Limbaugh trough.
5. Luxurious, shiny fur replaced with mint green polyester pants suit.
6. It's no longer safe to lift him without a spotter.
7. Waits for the third bowl of food to get finicky.
8. He only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull.
9. Enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.
10. Has more chins than lives.