Storm Warning
Is there any such thing as a happy kitsune story? wondered Reiko.
She somewhat doubted it, truly. She was, for once, curled up in her own tiny cabin, the breathlessness of the air within far preferable to having to talk to her compatriots for the time being.
As she had for the past four days, she brooded on the news that the Scorpion clan had been paying the Demonbane to continue his insane attempt at genocide. The newest cuts on her arms throbbed, but the relief from thought she had found in the pain hadn't lasted.
Jeron had known, and seen fit to only hint and not outright tell her about the connection. She was angry, and anxious. She wondered what else he knew and wasn't telling her, and wondered why he had only hinted and not said anything. Was it that he would not tell her, or he could not? Was he hoping to deflect her anger elsewhere?
And Funitsu...her lip curled with irritation. She knew that it was irrational to be angry at the Scorpion for the sins of his ancestors, but she was nonetheless. He hadn't even known about it, and still she was greatly vexed with him. not that he even noticed she wasn't speaking to him and tended to wander away whenever he came near. She would speak to him when she thought she could keep a civil tongue in her head, and no sooner.
She was still contemplating a bit of petty vengeance, but never mind that. Her mind turned back to Jeron, and the night that the tall Thrykreen had taken her up on her offer. She had said, curled up in his arms, before anything else had happened between them, "We can't trust each other, you know."
He had replied, "And yet, kitsune. I think we can't not."
That moment, that memory, hurt more than all the rest. For she had begun to trust him, at least a little, and here it turned out that she might, for once in her life, have been right not to trust someone. She resolutely shut out of her mind the moment that had followed that one, when she'd found his lips on hers and soon afterwards their hands on each other, and the most pleasant night they'd spent together.
Funny. I thought I'd found a solution to at least one of my problems. But nothing that my father gives is without price, and I know far too little about him. He's evasive whenever I ask him questions about himself. I don't know how old he is, or what position he held in the Demonbane's retinue. I don't know what makes him different from the rest.
And there were other worries, too. He is not human. But would we be fertile together? A pregnancy right now would be...inconvenient. And the thing he did to me when he fed me...I want more. The depth of her desire for more frankly frightened her a bit. The fact that he was only too willing to give her more made her wonder what, exactly, he got out of this.
She wondered if he was lying, if indeed he didn't see the woman within the demon but had known that was a sentiment she was too vulnerable to. I cannot imagine his affection for me is entirely false, but... Her soul shuddered away from the thought.
I should know better. How many men have I lain with, and how many of them have pretended affection? I just...damn. I wanted Jeron to be different. I was honest with him, as I've been with very few people. He's even seen my scars.
She sighed, stirred, and touched the pool of power within her. Still almost full, even though it had been a few days since Jeron had fed her. She'd used very little of her power recently--not even changing to fox form very often.
Old habits died hard. On a normal night, she would be out flirting with the sailors, deciding which of them to feed on. But without needing to feed, she could and would forbear. She had Gryphon and Taura for simple affection, and while she would need to feed again in a week or two, for the moment she could just be. Even she, after all these years, could sometimes need some time alone, not seeking to satisfy any of her hungers.
She rolled her kitsune ball between her hands meditatively and wondered idly where her spirits had gotten to. None of them were in the room with her at the moment; they did all occasionally wander off on their own. And it's not like being around me at the moment is very exciting.
Her thoughts turned back to the Thrykreen. I wonder...is it possible that he too is bound somehow? If I were my father, I would not like my secrets to be wandering around the world unfettered. Or perhaps he is still more loyal to the Demonbane than Tadaki. And certainly he has no reason to be loyal to me.
Reiko threw her ball lightly in the air and caught it with a swift hand. Perhaps I should look at him through Panda's orb. That might prove enlightening. If he is bound as I am, then perhaps we can fix that. And if he is not...then I need to know that, too.
Her thought was interrupted by Miss M shooting into the room, though the closed door, a worried expression on her face. Before she could open her mouth to ask, there was a thump outside the door, and a familiar voice cried out as if in pain.
She opened the door, and Taura was crouched in the corridor, her arms wrapped around herself. Reiko, her hand still on the door, said, "Taura? Are you all right?"
The other kitsune moaned, her voice filled with terror. Reiko went to her, put an arm around her shoulders, and guided her into her cabin. She settled Taura on the mat and then closed the door, going back to kneel beside her.
Taura was shaking, eyes closed, fists clenched. Reiko stroked her hair, rubbing her face on her shoulder, and murmured, "What's wrong? What is it? What has you so scared?"
Her voice trembled. "No...no...I can't...no...please..." She continued to mutter brokenly, seeming to not even realize that Reiko was there.
After a time, she calmed a bit, her trembling subsiding. She shifted to pull Reiko close to her, clinging to her for comfort. The two kitsune pressed close together, silence wrapping both of them.
Reiko asked, "What happened? Did someone hurt you?" Possibilities flashed through her mind, worries following in their wake.
"I...heard. Things. Reiko, he's coming. Coming for me, coming for you, and the rest. But especially for me. I can't--can't stop him! He follows, he follows, and I can't--can't stop, can't be the rabbit, he's going to kill us all, he'll find us and kill us all--"
"Ssssh, sssssh, Taura, love. Sssssh. It's all right." Reiko was confused, but Taura obviously wasn't able to explain why she was so frightened, and it was more important to calm her down right now than it was to find out why she was so frantic.
Taura continued to mutter, brokenly, about hearing things, about hearing thoughts, about someone coming to kill her, and about someone following her. But she either could not say or didn't know who it was she was hearing. Reiko wondered if Taura was mad, if having been given a conscience had driven her insane.
Demonbane, you have a lot to answer for, indeed. Her thoughts were grim as she continued to pet and murmur to the other kitsune, so frightened and unable to explain why. Eventually, the comfort of another body pressed close to hers did its gentle magic, and Taura fell shivering to sleep.
Reiko remained curled around the other kitsune, thinking. If she is mad, she is a liability. But if she is afraid of something real, she is even more of one. And I fear the response of the others will be to kill her, no matter which it is. The possibility tore unexpectedly at her heart. She had become fond of Taura in the past few weeks, and while she was not in love with her--it seemed to be difficult for kitsune to truly feel that way about each other--she was a kindred spirit, and she truly understood Reiko in ways none of the others did.
And as she thought of kindred spirits, she thought of one who seemed, sometimes, to be as lost as she was...but she pushed that thought away and nuzzled Taura's hair, the vixen's breathing soft and regular with sleep. Never mind. Keep what you have close, and don't worry about the rest. All that is real is this moment...the rest can keep for an evening.
She glanced upwards.
Zhane stood above the two kitsune, the lamplight shining through her translucent body. She was looking at Taura with an expression of exquisite sadness on her face. She crouched, her skirt rustling, and brushed a hand down the side of her face, speaking a few words in her native language. She then retreated to the corner, still looking at Taura, still containing that sadness.
With a shock, Reiko realized that she understood what the gaijin spirit had said.
I understand. I, as well.
Reiko did not fall asleep for a very long time afterwards.