Sitefnut walked down the long, opulent corridors of the Imperial Palace, having requested an audience with Rameses and subsequently been summoned to his chambers. She was nervous, but if she were lucky Rameses would answer some questions that she'd been itching after the answers to.
Earlier that day, wandering around the palace, she'd happened on the kitchens and spent some time helping knead bread with the cooks. In return, she'd gotten an interesting story from one of the bakers. She'd mentioned Raam and the woman had chattered on for a while about how Raam was almost the only person that Rameses trusted these days, and was the only person who dared speak to Rameses "like that!" Evidently, there had been a delegation from Libya who had made some sort of remark about Raam, once. Rameses sent them back to Libya in four thousand small boxes.
Sitefnut made the appropriately shocked noises. The baker said, "But I guess it's all right. Raam's better than Rameses' blood kin." She lowered her voice. "Did you know his brother and sister tried to have him assassinated? That's right, they did. He wasn't but a child, only eight. After Seti died, the pharaoh executed them. All of his other siblings fell right into line, after that."
This new piece of information fell into place in Sitefnut's head with a near-audible click. It was a piece of the puzzle that had been missing, and she was starting to see where the gaps in her knowledge were. And so she'd requested an audience with Rameses, the hyenas' claws ticking gently on the stone tile of the floors beside her. She'd bathed them that morning, which cut down on their musk quite a bit, but she still didn't know if she'd be allowed to see the pharaoh with them beside her.
The fact that she was able to see the pharaoh at all had made her laugh helplessly when she'd thought of it. They were to Raam as the First Prime was to Rameses, and in the hierarchy of the palace they were all fairly high. And she, as the grandmother of a woman who was about to become Rameses' latest bride, was even higher. She'd bathed and found some clean clothing waiting for her when she was done, certainly finer stuff than she'd ever owned in her life, but still plain in comparison to many of those who lived in the palace.
Then she'd slipped the greyling in her eye and followed the guard who had been sent for her to Rameses' chambers.
The servants in the outer room looked appalled at the idea that hyenas were to be let inside. She fixed one of them with a stern gaze and said, "I guard them with my life. Where I go, they go. Either Rameses sees me with them, or does not see me at all."
They relented, but insisted that she and the hyenas be anointed with perfumes before they went in. Usi had a laugh in his eyes as he slapped one of the nervous servants who was attending him with his tail, making her jump and nearly drop the small flask she was carrying. Be nice, she said. They're only doing their job.
Stinky job, he replied. Can't imagine why people think this stuff smells good. I've never liked it.
In the meanwhile, one of the servants who was attending Isu had accidentally discovered that she loved to be scratched behind the ears. The hyena was leaning on her with an expression of bliss on her face while the wide-eyed girl looked down at her with an expression of dismay. I think this one likes me!
"Isu. Let her finish."
Isu grumped but stopped leaning on the girl. You're no fun. The girl shot her a look of gratitude and nervously finished her task.
Inside Rameses' chamber, she was escorted past the First Prime, who stood with an impassive expression on his face. She eyed him as she went past. I could almost like you if you didn't disapprove of me, she thought to herself. As she glanced around the room, she could see that into the stones of the walls themselves were woven spells, spells mostly to redirect magic that was performed in here. There were shields on the walls that would attract any arrows or other missiles that were fired in the room, as well.
She was brought before Rameses, sitting on a throne of gold on a stone dais. She bowed as she'd been taught, erring on the too-respectful side, and the hyenas settled down next to her, sitting alertly, their ears flicking back and forth. Rameses looked down at her and said, "Grandmother of Mayet, soon to be part of the family. What business do you need with the Pharaoh?"
Er. How had she planned to begin this? Oh, yes. "Just a friendly chat. I'd like to know what sort of person my granddaughter is marrying, since she finally made her choice. And I was wondering what sort of arrangements are being made for the wedding."
He raised an eyebrow. "I am the pharaoh, that is who she is marrying. As for arrangements, if you have any special requests, you only need to ask."
Sitefnut thought about her position in the Pack as Chosen, how hyenas deferred to one another. For a long moment, she could barely remember what the signs were that humans made to signal submission, but recovered herself and replied, "You'll pardon me for saying, but my experience with former pharaohs lately hasn't been exactly positive. None of your wives have met bad ends so far, so I'm encouraged by that."
"Mayet will be well treated, as will her family. Is there something special that you require, Grandmother?"
"Actually, I wanted to give you a message." She paused, thinking of what she wanted to say, lowering her voice. "I have it on reasonably good authority that though your First Prime can be trusted, and is loyal, there are those under him that are not. Unfortunately, I can't tell you which ones are not, but you may be able to find out."
He inclined his head. "Yes, Raam has informed me as such. He is working with the First to eliminate the factions. I hear that you have been instrumental in taking out a few factions yourself."
She chuckled. "Raam beat me to it, then. I'd be grieved if my granddaughter were made a widow long before her time. Plus, from what I've seen, Egypt needs a strong ruler at the moment."
"There are some aligned against us. You have met a few of them, and will probably meet more. They have long tendrils that need to be pulled out." His eyes were hooded now, and he was giving her a piercing stare. "Egypt has a strong ruler. Growing stronger every day."
"That's good," she replied quietly. "The Unas revolt...I'm afraid it'll take a bit for people to adjust."
Still that penetrating gaze. "It will." He raised his voice now, taking on a tone of command. "All of you. Leave us." Sitefnut blinked in surprise as all of the servants--and the First Prime--filed silently out. He stood and came down off of the dais, seating himself on the steps leading up to it. "Sit, Grandmother. No offense, but you suck at protocol. What is on your mind? Speak plainly."
Isu, Usi, guard please? At her request, the hyenas took up position nearby. She chuckled and came to sit near Rameses, lowering herself down to the steps. "I'm sorry, your majesty. I'm a peasant and about as blunt as Bes' hammer. I'm seeing many things, and they simply don't add up to me. I thought I'd come see if you'll fill in some of the pieces." The stiffness began to leave her spine. Off the throne, Rameses seemed much more like a man like any other. A powerful man and one to be feared, but still a man. "The Unas, for instance. Freeing them is going to cause havoc--but unless I miss my guess, that's part of what you sent Raam out in the world to do."
Rameses nodded. "Yes, I did. You probably wonder why, too. "
She gave him a half-smile. "It doesn't seem exactly like it's in your interest."
"It's like this. I can't free the slaves. If I did, the nobles would go through upheavals and probably try to kill me." He spoke as if he'd been through this particular discussion many a time. "If they revolt, then they will ask for my protection, and it's in their best interest to keep me around. Why free the slaves? No one should have to live that life. Nothing to live for but the next day, when you work and toil for nothing. All creatures deserve the right to be happy and not worked to death."
Quietly, she replied, "Granted. And it's an injustice we've done the Unas, I agree, keeping their minds chained like that. Even if you're serving a term as a slave, your mind should still be free."
"They should not drugged and docile." He spat the words as if they were bitter, as if the thought of the Unas chained by the herbs they were given genuinely rankled him.
"But it's still going to be a long, hard time because of it. Many things will be turned upside down." And a land I love dearly is going to be torn apart because of it, she thought to herself.
"Yes, many things. But that is why Raam is going to deal with it. He alone might be able to do what I cannot--stop a civil war before it starts and set the Unas free."
She gave the pharaoh an inquisitive, searching look. "Why Raam? The man's a wonder, that's for certain, but why is he the only person who can do this?"
"Yes, he is. And I am afraid I have to leave it at that."
She chuckled ruefully. "How did I know you were going to say that? Not even the gods have answers about Raam. Well, the one god I've talked to, at least."
Rameses shook his head. "Some secrets can be so terrible that you don't want them out. Some are not bad, but so personal that it really has to be the person themselves to tell you. It's not my secret, though I know about it." He held his mouth in a grave line, and Sitefnut found herself realizing once more that this pharaoh was still a young man, young enough certainly to be bowed down by the weight of he was carrying. "His is one of the latter. It was my fault that he has this secret, but it can only be his to reveal."
Sitefnut inclined her head. "Or not, which is what he seems to choose. He's very good at deflecting questions when they're asked."
"He is very good at that, yes. Or he gives you the I am going to kill you routine."
She smiled, remembering the number of times that he'd told her exactly that. She didn't really believe the half-giant any more when he said that. "And I take it that what he did to get adopted into the royal family is part of that secret?"
"No, not really, but I would request that you don't tell him that I told you. He saved my life."
That was almost confirmation of her theory. Cautiously, she said, "It must have been when you were young, then."
He gave her a look that said she wasn't fooling anyone. "I know you have been snooping around with the big mouth cook. You know I was going to be assassinated by my brother and sister. Raam saved me from an arrow that would have killed me. I was eight years old, he was nine."
Confirmation, indeed. "Worthy of a great reward, that is. So your father decided to adopt him into the family?"
"Not at first. He became my playmate. Seti came to love him like a son and adopted him. Seti died soon after that. I knew my brother and sister would have tried to kill Raam, so I killed them first." She almost shuddered at the matter-of-fact tone he took.
"Probably a good move all around, since they'd tried to kill you." Acting shocked wouldn't fool him, after all.
"It was. Seti didn't have the heart to kill his own children, even ones he knew were power hungry."
She shook her head. "I can understand that. I wouldn't have, either. Then again, I'm not nobility, so the problem never came up." She was thinking, even as she said this, I'm glad I wasn't born noble. I had problems, but having to kill my siblings wasn't one of them.
"Does that answer your very curious mind, grandmother?"
His eyebrow was raised again, and she nodded. "As much as you can. I'm sure you don't know anything about the rest of my questions. Answers to those are going to have to come from elsewhere." After all, the pharaoh of Egypt would have no care for hyenas, nor any concern for the god that hid in them.
"One never knows. I do have a question for you, though."
She drew her brows together, looking at him quizzically. What on earth could Rameses want to ask of her? "And what might that be?"
"After this is over, and if you survive it all....would you be willing to take over the artifact archivist position here at Pi Rameses?"
Sitefnut could only look at him for a long moment as she parsed that sentence, had her mind tell her that could not possibly be what he was asking, and start over again only to come up with the same answer. She thought about the possibility of spending the rest of her life studying artifacts, and a wild joy began to flutter beneath her breastbone. She caught herself and remembered that she hadn't yet replied. "Ah....yes. Yes, I would. If I survive, and if I'm in a form capable of fulfilling the requirements of the position."
He smiled again, and she could see that her excitement at the prospect must be showing on her face. "I think you would be able to. Besides, I think Mayet would like to still have you around here."
She laughed and gestured at Usi. "One of my possible futures is evidently residing in the body of one of the hyenas. In that case, being the artifact archivist would be difficult. But, yes. If I survive, and if I'm capable."
"Somehow, I think that you will probably survive one way or the other."
"Were that I was as confident in that as you." In reply, Usi yawned at her, displaying a mouth full of teeth, and she turned her head and made a face at him.
"Fate has led you here for a reason. Let me rephrase that. Imhotep has led you here for a reason. He wouldn't have done that if he didn't think you could do what he needs done."
She turned back to look at him, thinking, How does he...ah, he must have overheard when we were discussing the fact that I have a god in my head. Well enough. This man has good hearing. "It's not that I'm worried about being able to do it. I'm worried about seeing what it is when it gets here. But that's my bone to chew on, not yours."
He nodded. "True enough. Anything else, grandmother? Room fluffy enough? Male harem boy for the night?"
To her chagrin, she felt her ears warm with a blush. "Aaaah...no. That's fine. I'll just be on my way, won't I then?"
"As you wish." He got to his feet and with a nod indicated that she should stand where she had been standing before. The hyenas, as a request from her, came to sit beside her once more. Rameses called for the First Prime, who came through the doors almost instantly. To him, Rameses said, "First, return Sitefnut back to her quarters. Assign a guard to her at all times, but make sure he is discreet. You are both dismissed." As they turned to leave, he added, "Oh, and First. If she has any needs whatsoever. Attend to them."
Sitefnut gave the pharaoh a startled glance. What could he possibly mean by that? She bobbed an awkward curtsey and murmured, "Ah...thank you, your majesty."
As the First Prime walked beside her on the way out, she could almost feel Rameses' gaze on her back. Usi fell into his usual place at her left, but Isu came around on the First's right, looking up at him speculatively. That's odd. He's not discomforted by us. I'd smell it if he were.
Sure he's seen a lot in his time, Sitefnut replied silently. Come away, you know better than to stand on a warrior's sword side.
Hmph. But conceding the point, she came around them, playfully shoving Usi with her shoulder.
In deference to the hyenas, she'd been given a set of rooms that opened out into a small garden. She left the First at the door, and he told her that the guard assigned to her would come to her door presently. She nodded and let the hyenas out into the garden, where a mock battle soon ensued. Human-souled they might be, but the hyenas were still hyenas, and often acted like it.
She sat on a low bench, thinking about the things she'd just learned. She was easier in her mind now about Raam. Whatever his secret might be, let him keep it. It surely did no harm, after all. That eternal itch had been scratched well enough for the moment.
And now she had something to look forward to after this was all over. She murmured, "I wonder if he knew how much I'd love to be able to do that?" The prospect of spending the rest of her life surrounded by artifacts, deciphering their secrets, perhaps making some of her own...it was as close to ideal as she could imagine. She'd never dared hope for anything like it.
She would be here, where she could keep an eye on Mayet and the children she would probably have. And possibly Imhotep's company and his help with the artifacts. Though I suppose I should learn everything I can. If I do what I'm supposed to do, he might go away after that. The thought was tinged with an abrupt sadness. Wonder if I could talk him into staying?
She laughed at herself. Three days ago, she'd been profoundly disturbed to discover that she had someone else in her head who could read every thought that she had if he wanted to. She seemed to be growing more comfortable with it by the day. But she could talk to him easily as she could with the hyenas, and she did like him. She wondered idly once more how much of the man was left inside the god, how much of the person he had been was residing with her at the moment.
She blinked and straightened. Why am I thinking this? she wondered. The urge was strong to turn her mental eyes away from the reason, and she frowned.
Some denial is harder to get rid of than most. She couldn't tell if that was her thought, or one of Imhotep's. But what was she in denial about? She remembered, suddenly, the greyling's words. you have urges. you just shut them off.
Oh.
Since the greyling had told her that, it seemed as though her skin had been alive with, well, interest. She'd caught herself looking at her companions, admiring the physiques of the swordsmen. Here at the palace, too, there were handsome men littering the corridors. The First Prime, for instance. The First Prime was by no means difficult to look at.
Her unruly mind had been lighting on other things, as well. Wondering, if Imhotep was a god, if he could be something other than a voice or an image. Wondering if his hands were as strong as they looked. There were things long shut away within her that were stirring towards the surface. And they were making noise. Ruefully, she acknowledged desire, perhaps ill-conceived. No, probably ill-conceived.
She heard just a whisper of a voice within her head, definitely Imhotep. Ah, that. Well, it might have to be worked out of you somehow.
She frowned his direction. No, no, that's all right. It's fine--
"Are you sure?
That was a whisper in her ear, a brush of breath hot against her neck. She squeaked and jumped up from her seat, spinning around. "What on earth?"
Sitting on the bench she had just left was Imhotep. As her mind skittered with a thousand thoughts at once, she saw one thing--that instead of the edges of his form being slightly transparent, they were entirely solid. He was physically in the room with her. Not just an image in her mind or an illusion, but real.
For what felt like an eternity, she was utterly paralyzed. Emotions she could neither name nor describe warred within her. He was looking at her steadily, waiting for her to act, to react, to move. But she couldn't.
She reached out towards him, then snatched her hand back, torn between the desire to have him closer and the fear that had her in its grip. "W-why are you doing this?" she asked, her voice shaking.
He smiled gently at her, making no move to come closer. "Why? Desire is the largest reason."
She turned her face away from him. "Now you're making fun of me." The paralysis was easing, but her heart maintained a painfully fast rhythm. She felt rather than saw Usi poke his head into the room and then snort and pad away.
"No, Sitefnut. After centuries of life, or even godhood, beauty fades but the person you are never does." She looked at him in astonishment. "That is what I see."
She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away again, taking a few steps away. "I can't."
His voice was still gentle, and still he did not move. "What are you so afraid of? What about this frightens you so?"
She bowed her head, closing her eyes. "I--never thought--nobody has ever wanted me for myself." She swallowed, tears threatening. "And I remember--it hurt. Oh, it hurt."
"It does not have to hurt." He paused, and she could hear in that silence echoes of things he was not saying. "Think back. The pain was only part of it."
Her eyes still closed, unwillingly, she remembered.
No, the pain had not been everything. There had been pleasure, too; moments where things were quite startlingly pleasant, moments that fled all too soon. But she hadn't known how to ask for what felt good, hadn't been able to get past the shame of it. She'd been first too young, and then her silence had hardened around her until it was almost a physical shell, a barrier to protect her.
And then there had been afterward, she remembered, the only part of married life that she had reliably liked. Lying together in the dark, listening to her husband's heart beat. In those moments, she had come as close as she had ever done to consciously loving him.
She had forgotten. She had forgotten, because she hadn't wanted to want this. She hadn't wanted to remember what it was like to desire another person. She could feel her heart beating as fast and hard as if she were running, and admitted, "No. The pain wasn't everything."
"Then why are you fighting so hard to deny what you're feeling?"
She turned back towards him, opening eyes that were a bit blurred with tears. He had a peculiar look on his face, hope and fear in equal measure. He was risking something too, she realized.
It took her breath away. Gods did not fear rejection, she realized. People did.
If he were human enough to fear that she would walk away...
Without realizing it, she'd taken a step closer to him. The next step was deliberate. Then another, and another, until she stood within arm's reach of him. She said, "I'm afraid. But if you're willing to deal with that..."
She reached out her hand. He took it.
For a moment, she could only marvel at the warmth of his hand, the solidity of it. He drew her gently down onto the bench beside him and then close to him, pulling her against him. She was shaking, her heart still beating fast, and he murmured, "Sssh, it's all right. Even just this is enough."
For the first time in over twenty years, Sitefnut closed her eyes and let herself be held. After a while, her trembling subsided and her breathing steadied. She shifted against him, enjoying his solid warmth. She said, quietly, "So...what happens to people who kiss gods, Imhotep?"
He chuckled. "You could try it and see."
She did. All that really happened to her was the desire to kiss him again, so she followed that impulse.
Then there were other impulses, and moments of awkwardness, and laughter and fumbling and what started out as playful tickling and turned into something really rather different. And to Sitefnut's intense surprise, none of it hurt.
In fact, not hurting was really only where it started. Much of what they did felt quite a bit better than not hurting, and a few things in particular felt better than she'd ever imagined they could feel. In amazement, she demanded that he do those particular things again.
They eventually found their way to the bed as night fell outside, and someone knocked on the door of her room but she hollered at them to go away, she was working. She stifled her laughter as the footsteps receded away along the corridor, and then went back to the fascinating activity that Imhotep had been in the middle of introducing her to. She'd missed a lot by not listening to her mother when she'd tried to talk to her, it seemed.
As the moon rose outside, they lay entwined, exhausted and damp with sweat. "Still afraid?" Imhotep asked, laughter in his voice.
She shook her head. "Not much. Maybe a little...but not of this, not now." Wryly, she asked, "So, are you going to stick around for a while? You're not going to disappear on me, are you?"
"You're stuck with me for a while, I fear. But I'll go back to being a voice in your head when others are around. It's easier that way."
"Mmmmm." She shifted, disentangling herself and then curling up against him. "Stay till I fall asleep?"
"Of course."
He kept his promise as she murmured and dozed and then fell deeply asleep. Then he kissed her and faded to his incorporeal state once more, leaving her alone in the bed.
Sitefnut slept, a small smile on her lips.
